Refs…..Give Them A Break!

“That was a hand ball!”

“Offsides!”

“This ref is horrible!”

Many of us have gone to a soccer game and have heard these things yelled at the referee before.  I usually cringe a little bit when I hear it from parents on the sideline.  And don’t get me wrong, I do the same thing from time to time.  But what bothers me is when the parents carry on and continue to yell at the referee.  There is a point where you have to pull back and keep it to yourself.  For the life of me, I will never understand why someone would want to referee a soccer game, or any game for that matter.  But thank goodness there are people out there who do.   The game that our children and so many people around enjoy would not exist as we know it without referees.  Here are some things to consider the next time you are about to blow a gasket on the sidelines of your kids soccer game.

How old is the person you are yelling at?

I put this first because the bothers me more than anything when I am on the sideline.  Usually, at one of my younger kids games there would be some high school kid refereeing a kids soccer game.  They are not doing it because this is their career choice.  They are doing it because they enjoy soccer and are trying to make some money by doing some part-time work.  They are going to make mistakes.  They are going to get the calls wrong.  And at some point, they are going to lose control of the game a little bit.  However, having some middle-aged parents arguing with them all game is not going to help at all.  In fact it may make it so they don’t want to help out and referee anymore, which means the next game you may be short a referee. So, before you start yelling at a young referee out on the field, consider the fact that they are still kids and are still learning.

They don’t get paid a lot of money.

Even if they are a little bit older, they aren’t getting paid a ton of money to do their job.  They probably just love the game, love to be around the young players, and maybe just be doing it to help the people in their community.  So, when they make a mistake, or don’t do a good job refereeing a game, be kind and patient with them. 

There is a shortage of referees.

I have been to games where the referees were late because they had to finish another game.   I have been to games where the referees were shorthanded, and had to borrow a parent to help out.  I have been to games where no referees showed up and the coaches had to ref the game.  I have seen games cancelled because there were no referees available.  Becoming a soccer referee is not high on the list of great jobs for most people.  It doesn’t help when parents are hard on them on the field also.  So, let’s make sure we appreciate the ones that we have, so maybe we can have more look forward to refereeing in the future.

It rubs off on the kids.

If you as a parent are always yelling at the referee, your children will also.  Either that or they will use poor refereeing as an excuse for their lack of success on the soccer field.  Setting a good example, holding your tongue (even though you may be right), and putting the focus on cheering on your child or team, is probably the best example you can set for your child.   After all, at every level of sport, in all sports, bad referees exist, and bad calls happen.   Teaching your child to respond the correct way to adversity is the most important thing.

In the end, the main thing is to keep the focus on the main thing……soccer.   Don’t let a bad call or bad referee ruin the game that you enjoy watching and your child enjoys playing.  Keep the sidelines positive and focus on the team and your child.  Let the coaches and leagues handle the ref.  You will find that in the long run the game and your child will be better off for it.